Welcome to the World of Gray.

"Hey, remember that day I left you dropping your pants around your ankles begging me to come back?  Yeah, that was a great dress.."

Greetings LJ people!  Long, long, long time no see.

Work keeps me busy and fairly well away from the computer.  Makes me feel even more out of touch than I did before but things are still going well.  I'm thankful and happy to have a job that for the most part I really enjoy working with people I like.  In that regard I'm very lucky so I'll take it.

In other news:

- Last month Clif planned a surprise honeymoon for us that, to put it nicely, fell through.  The short of it is we got screwed by a Passport expedite company and had to frantically cancel our trip at the hour we were supposed to be arriving at the airport for our flight.  We're out a chunk of money and are starting down the road towards small claims court.  I'm not looking forward to this trip and have an eye out for any lawyer type who might be willing to give us some advice as we attempt to recover our losses.

- Clif is still working from home and it terrifies me.  Trying to juggle support of his dream and mind-crippling fear and anxiety is tricky.  To add to our frustrations his best friend and business partner left all of us high and dry and is continuing to drive his life into the ground in favor of doing gracious only knows what with my cousin whom he met and started dating at our wedding.  I was so infuriated by the circumstances Clif and I had been put and strung along in I actually told said friend that I wished we'd eloped and never had our wedding because then he would have never met my cousin in the first place.  Clif has had to make the difficult decision to sever business ties and move on without him because his inability to be productive in most regards drags us down with him and we're already fighting to keep our heads above water without the extra weight. 

- We've hired our dear friend Robert to help us whip our severely neglected yard and gardens into shape.  It's going to take some time and labor to get things cleaned up but we are very excited to be working towards a yard we can be proud of.  We are also saving up and hoping to install a concrete paver patio over our existing slate disaster but are still shopping for the best installation estimate we can find.

- Lately I've been feeling the Mommy Urges more and more though we won't be even remotely close to pursuing that road for years to come.  Still strange to have those desires bubbling to the surface.

- Jed came back from the Appalaichan Trail a few weeks ago.  No injury or illness, he just got sick of walking and wasn't enjoying it as much.  He got some amazing pictures, lost a lot of weight and is planning on moving back in to rent half of our basement next week.  We have established that this time around he'll use the downstairs entrance so the two floors really function as separate apartments (Clif and I got spoiled and want to continue to have our married couple time) though we are beyond thrilled to have him back.  The rec room portion of the basement that will remain ours is going to be converted into dance studio and business space in the hopes that Clif and I can continue to seek ways of bringing in some extra income.

- After years of watching, dreaming, wishing and never thinking it would happen I have become an official student of capoeira.  I've wanted to learn a martial art for years but never could narrow it down to one that really spoke to me until a few years ago when I learned about this Afro/Brazillian dance-based defense art.  After learning a couple of moves from a friend and then albassoon finding a school just 5 minutes from my office I decided to give it a shot.  I was hooked after my first trial class and signed a year contract at my second.  In order to afford capoeira tuition I have cut out a lot of money suckers like getting manicures and pedicures, eating out and shopping.  I think in the long run I end up saving more money because I'm watching pennies a lot closer.  I make my own meals and if Clif and I do eat out it is with much less freqency and at cheaper places where our goal is to split an entree.  All said and done even though it was scary to make this financial committment it was for something I so badly wanted and in the long run will help me adopt a healthier life style.  Clif even said he'd help me practice at home!

Loving my job!  I am sad for the loss of float-around-the-internet time but everything has a trade off.  Great people, I feel comfortable with the work, things are pretty good.  Can't argue with my last paycheck, either...

Bunch of stresses going on but that's nothing new.

Jed, our beloved basement monkey, moved out at the end of March to pursue his dream of through-hiking the Appalaichan Trail.  As this is a committed 6-month (give or take) endeavor for him it leaves us with the need to find someone to rent all or part of our basement.  A crucial need especially given Clif is working exclusively from home on our company (The Center for Wilderness Safety) and therefore our income isn't as stable as would be comfortable.  So far, however, we've had zero hits despite repeated posts on Craigs List, Rommates.com, a military housing site, listing it through our realtor and word of mouth.

Our most hopeful solution comes in the form of our close friend and my cousin.  They are heavily considering moving to the NOVA area for a change of scenery and to give their potential relationship a chance.  He would rent half of our basement and we would look into options for a place her to put tentative roots down while she builds a client base for her self-owned house cleaning service.  He, however, won't make the move if she doesn't since he doesn't want to put even more distance between them (he's in PA, she's in OH).  Ticky situations abound.  If they decide not to make the move we are back in the position of desperately needing someone to rent half or all of our basement.

In the meantime Clif and I have been enjoying living together, just the two of us, for the first time since we met.  We loved having Jed live with us and have no issue sharing our house but it is pretty awesome to be able to walk around naked without fear of frightening someone. 

Also in the meantime we've moved forward with working on making improvements to a basement in need of some love.  Last night we painted the downstairs bedroom and McGivered a new light fixture.  I'm also looking forward to working with someone to build a bookshelf/window seat unit I've been dreaming of since we bought the house.  All of these make this room a far cry from the dank, filthy, eye sore and health hazard it was when we found it.  The carpet was in such bad shape you could see the voids where the furniture had been and it reeked of animal urine though we'd been told no pets had lived there.  Scary! 

In other news Clif's mother landed herself in the hospital for fluid build up around her heart and lungs, an issue that could have resulted in her death if she'd waited just one more day to go for help.  She is now doing much better on medication and staying on them after being reprimanded for coming off of them too early resulting in a relapse.  My sister had a poorly timed kidney stone that passed with just enough time for them to catch a later flight the day they were going out of town to Mexico for vacation.  Our friend Shiva has had to cancel her two week trip to Europe due to an ankle sprain and bone spur.  The biopsy results of a skin issue that had been causing me great concern (my family has a history of skin cancer) came back benign and the excise location is healing nicely.

Well, I think that about sums up the spaz-tacular update.



If anyone knows or hears of someone who:

A) would have interest in cleaning service for their home
B) would be interested in looking a basement rental space at a bargain price

Feel free to send them my way. :)

Every now and then I’m overcome with random waves of memories that bring with them a shadow of feelings and emotions that were felt back when.

 

Just now I was listening to Prayer for the Dying by Seal and almost like a movie montage I saw flashes of when I was in high school and how I would sit in my room, strung with strands of white and blue Christmas lights, listening to my all-time favorite Seal album.  More so in those days I was very prone to only liking one or two songs on a cd but there were a few exceptions, Seal being one, and I could listen to that album on repeat for hours on end and never get sick of it.  I would lie on my bed, look at the ceiling and the world would fall away to sound of that cd.

 

The peaceful, serene feelings that album (mixed with those ridiculous lights and often a burning stick of incense) brought were some of my favorite, most treasured times in those years.  So much so the impact of that music, those particular songs, still influences me today.  I can almost smell the incense and see the blue, twinkling glow that made up my little piece of heaven.

 

So, my question to you, friends, is what moves you?  What moments in your past, no matter how small, helped define the pieces of who you are today?

Are you ready for this crazy?

*Jed has put in his two weeks notice at work and is 80% or more sure he's ready to finally hike the AT, something he's been talking about doing for a while now.

This is both awesome and sad.  Awesome that he's finally going to get around to doing something crazy great like that and get the once-in-a-lifetime experience but really sad because we love him and will miss him greatly.

This also means we'll need a new basement-renter(s).  In order for that to happen, however, the following needs to occur:

1) Move junk from Amy's/"move-in" room to living room, rendering the living room temporarily unusable.  Prime, paint and choose location for sleeper sofa thus dictating the design of the rest of the room.  (done)
2) Move Amy's office stuff from her closet corner in Clif's office to her office.  Decorate and organize to complete guest room/office combo space, a mere year after moving in.  (mostly done)
3) Move dog crate and things from sun room and "frequently needed" items (such as first aid gear and things that we need access to more than once or twice a year) from basement storage room to the newly vacated closet space in Clif's office.  (work in progress)
4) Take vacated items from Amy's/"move-in" room that are currently taking over the living room to the basement storage room.  Buy and install key-locking door knob.  Install key-locking door knob, the right way, at the top of the stairs to the basement while the necessary tools are already out.
5) Sell double papasan frame and rolling 3-shelf tea cart and move the rest of Clif's belongings out of the the sun room to his office and/or the basement storage room.  Finish cleaning, hang mirrors for Amy's dance space and call the sun room done.  (work in progress)
6) While moving nearly every belonging we have from one location to another go through it and make a whole lot of trash/things to sell and/or give away.  (eternal work in progress)
7) Get electrician to look at the west-wall outdoor motion sensor light to find out why it doesn't work and fix for new potential basement-renter(s).  Consider also making a mini interior fence in the yard so when potential renters come in and out of the back yard they don't accidentally (or intentionally) let out or have to deal with dogs if they are in the yard.  Also fence off tree mound that Teva uses to jump the fence, hopefully preventing Amy from findng her, after being out most likely all night, eating an unidentifiable bone in the neighbor's front yard without her collar again.
8) Make our front porch look less like it's visiting from a trailer park.
9) Get the manly men to actually clean up the downstairs patio and make a nice entrance for potential basement-renter(s).
10) Get entire basement ready for basement-renter(s).
11) Find basement-renter(s).
12) Maintain sanity.

*I found Jed on roommates.com a few years ago when I needed to find a roommate and was having no luck any other way.  I liked Jed the moment I met him at the door when he came to check the place out, though I wasn't sure how comfortable I felt renting to someone I met on a website.  He liked the place and came back another night that week with his cat to see how our animals would get along while we ordered pizza and watched tv for a few hours.  He decided to rent the room, followed Clif and me to the house to rent the basement and has become part of our family.  We love him dearly and are very thankful for the amazing internet find he turned out to be!

So, on top of this bout of depression I've been fighting with recently I get online this morning to find that an idea I had and implemented a while ago for a fun WoW event has not only been "borrowed" (re: it's my idea with a different name and location) but done so by someone I can't stand.  Fun!    Granted it was my fault for taking so long to get back to hosting said event but I've been wanting/meaning to for a months and now feel I can't because it will be seen as either me trying to copy HER or seen as some form of competition and I'm not.  going.  there. 

What's even better?  I'm going to get shit for being upset about it.  People I call friends will roll their eyes and think I'm some horrible person.  I hope I'm wrong and would like to think that they wouldn't do that, but past experience and nerves don't give me as much confidence in that hope as I'd like.  Now, if it were someone we all mutually disliked then let freedom of speech and opinion reign, but since I am one of the minority that dislikes this person my opinions only serve to get me in trouble and so expressing them is NOT an option.  Frankly I think I'm entitled to feel the way I feel about this person especially since I go out of my way to ignore her and share space with her peacefully when necessary and it frustrates me that I keep getting told to suck it up.  I've made as much peace with what happened with her as I can and behave with far more civility than most people would yet I still seem to be in the wrong. 

There are a lot of things going on in life at the moment that are completely overwhelming me and that just makes all this "little stuff" that much more maginfied.  In the grand scheme of life having this person steal an idea from me when I wasn't doing anything active with it is little and my own fault but I won't feel bad for admitting it hurts me.

I think what sucks the most about this morning is I looked through a list of people I've known and called friends for 2, 3, 4+ years and didn't see a single one I felt I could talk to about how I was feeling, even if just so I could vent.  That was the kick in the ribs.

And here I will stop because the urge to try to jusitfy my feelings or explain that I know they might be on the "strong" side in my own fricking journal to avoid judgement and losing friends is ridiculous and I'm not going to filter my thoughts in a place I should feel no guilt for expressing them freely.

Back in the day I used to stock pile on craft goodies, making sure I had things around the house I could pull out and work on in front of a good movie or tv marathon to keep my hands busy.  Every now and then I just CRAVE crafts.  Sadly I haven't picked up a project in years.

Just the other day I learned about this great site via this great site.  Now I want to hit Michael's and hit it hard.

I haven't done an honest-to-goodness update in a while and while there is still a TON OF CRAP spinning around in my head I figured I'd post a little nibblet.

Clif and I go out too much, particularly for a couple of people who need to A) lose weight and B) save money.  So, me in my infinite desire to lounge around in pjs with fun food and movies, I decided to claim tonight as a Date Night to do just that.

I have no idea what movie we're going to watch, we'll either pull something off the shelf or probably Direct TV something (hey, it's still cheaper than the theater and it will have to do until our Netflix que stars kicking in).  For food I'm making a Munchie Buffet of fresh veggies, beef and cream cheese roll-ups, a lemon and chive pasta I saw on Rachel Ray and fancy tater tots Hooters Style.

I'm so excited!!!

Here I am barely able to keep my eyes open at work yet I have SO MANY THINGS bouncing and flying through my head right now I kind of don't know what to do with myself.  As I go to open up this tab in hopes of finding a way to break through the dam and get at least some of them written down Under Pressure comes on the radio.  Coincidence?  I think someone's telling me something I already know.  ;)

Feeling really down today, almost overly stripped and fragile.  Both a frustrating and anger-inducing feeling and I'm ready for it to pass.  Days I have really thin skin wear me out.

I'm slowly starting the Job Search since there is a very good possibility come February I won't have one anymore.

I have great people skills and can rock the Admin.  If anyone knows of anything or has any suggestions, I would love to hear them.

A while ago I thought about taking the EMT course through Loudoun.  That though passed and I kind of forgot about it until this weekend when while talking to Dan, one of our Junior Instructors, during our Wilderness First Aid course he mentioned he was going to take it.  I told him I'd thought about it but hadn't done anything yet.  With a gleam in his eye he told me we should take it together.  Sounds like fun, I agreed!

Today I read the web page for the Sterling volunteer department and now I'm scared.

Any of you EMT sorts have some reassuring advice for me?

Even more laughter to brighten your day!  Seriously, I could spend hours on this site:

The girl who took a dump in the Art Institute parking lot! - m4w
To the guy I slapped across the face in the bar... - w4m
TO THE SIX-FOOT FOUR TRANSVESTITE - m4w
**** TOILET FOR TWO ****
To my lovely BUS passengers
To the older woman watching me buying condoms - m4w
Enabler Seeks Addict For Mutually Destructive LTR
The guy who mugged me - m4m
An Open Letter From Your Local Adult Store Clerk
Seeking a sexual tyrannosaur for a romp in the park - w4m
you: Prius guy; me: not a hooker (redhead in purple fishnets) - w4m
Light house cleaning needed
Ingrown Pubes Totally Rule
Panties, size 8-10
Tina, The Telemarketer Who Called Me Last Night - m4w
to the perv who groped me on my way home - w4m
Manly Bike for Sale

This video so eloquently and perfectly illustrates what I wish to do to people who are self-centered, disrespectful jackholes. Yeah, you know who they are...

You know how in the summer when you can get a peach at the peak of perfection how the smell and feel of it kind of makes you want to roll it all over your body because it's so scrumptions? Yeah, that's kind of how I feel about Eric Hutchinson though I am concerned trying to roll him all over my body would most likely end in a divorce and restraining order. >.<

 

You know, for as much as I sit around at work leafing through my 30+ Firefox tabs looking for things to keep my entertained during the day you might THINK I would update more often than I do. Especially given I find myself motivated by the fun ramblings of dooce.com (I believe that's a big fat thanks to

camperamy for introducing me to that one).

I've found for the past couple of years my birthday has changed from being exciting to making me feel old and not something to generally look forward to. Thanks to my amazing, thoughtful, creative husband the past two have been the complete opposite of what I fear they will be: lame and forgotten. This weekend was full of so much awesomeness and win I have to break it down by day so I don't flood people's feeds.

Here's the story of how I'm one of the luckiest girls on earth:

( Friday... )
( Saturday... )
( Sunday... )

All in all it was a weekend of awesomeness.

Even though lettuce is comprised of leaves, it's cute that when asking for shredded lettuce on your salad you called them such.  I thank you for that smile.

Laundry hamper diving so you can crotch-munch my unmentionables is not ok.